Firsts
by cheapxperfume
Summary: There’s a first time for everything. First flight, first kiss… first love. Ten firsts Jessica Day will never know about. Jonathan x Dess, because it’ll never happen.


There's a first time for everything.

Jonathan was sitting atop Pegasus, looking down over Bixby. Tomorrow he would leave this place forever; tear down what he'd built up over the years. He knew it was time. But for now he just wanted to be alone, reflecting. Looking back over his memories. Nostalgically… the perfect thirteen letter word. 

He remembered his first flight. The move to Bixby had been sudden, but Dad wanted to get as far away from Mom as he could. He still didn't understand why she'd left. He wasn't sure he ever would.

That first night had been hard for him. He'd felt the isolation and loneliness like ice in his veins, coming alive in the stray tear that ran down his cheek. And then… boom. Midnight. Everything around him blue, frozen. He'd thought it was a dream. Either that or he was going insane. He'd run outside, laughing hysterically, spinning around, sure he was a hopeless case. Then Dess had shown up.

What a beautiful smile she had. She'd sat him down, sobered him up, and explained everything about the darklings and the blue time. She'd assured him he wasn't crazy. He'd touched the hem of her silky black shirt a couple times, just to make sure she was real.

She was very real. Everything was real. And then, when he'd moved… he flew. He'd grabbed Dess's hand, scared, saying, "I don't want to do this alone." She'd squeezed his hand in hers and said, "Good, because you don't have to."

And then they were airborne.

Another first: first rumble. Having a polymath on your side was great when you knew you were going to have to face some major baddies that night. He and Dess had gone out alone, trying to pinpoint one of the lore sites Rex had been rambling about earlier. He carried the duffle bag; Dess held a sort of spear in her left hand. They'd ended up needing both. Dess had saved his life that night.

First day at a new school. What a nerve-wracking experience that had been. He didn't know what he would've done without Dess. Stumbling through the hallways and accidentally walking into the wrong classroom… he'd done it all, but Dess had been there to guide him in the end. She'd sat with him in Ancient History and passed a note about the stupid teacher in American Literature. She'd saved him from the danger of detention and sneaked him around the hallway monitor, hallway pass-less. They'd even skipped P.E. together. In Jonathan's book, that meant you were pretty tight.

Sooner or later though, another first had been required – first tutor. Dess had been there for him when the formulas of algebra failed him, teaching him the tricks and shortcuts that were like second nature to her. Jonathan was glad to have something to give back in the form of physics. Dess definitely got gravity after all those midnight trips with him, but there were other things she needed to grasp.

For the first time ever, Jonathan wasn't alone. He had a real friend; the truth was present all hour of the day, whether it be midnight or afternoon. Dess was there for him in all situations. Like that night he'd cried himself to sleep in her arms because of that ache that Mom's absence had left. It still hurt sometimes, but he wasn't ashamed to say it to Dess. He was so comfortable with her. Dess was the only person he'd ever met that could deal with him having two sandwiches instead of one and an extra energy bar in his pocket at all times. She could understand why he sometimes wished it could be midnight forever, so that he could jump into infinity and never, ever stop. She got it when he didn't say anything at all; he just held her hand as they jumped through the midnight and it was like she was a mindcaster, reading his thoughts and knowing exactly how to respond.

She amazed him, she really did.

Of course, there was one inevitable first. The first that every teenager goes through, whether or not they can fly or do super-genius brands of math. That predictable first kiss.

He remembered everything about that particular first. 

How the air had felt, whooshing around him as they sped through the air, and the slightly tingling sensation of her hand in his. 

Her scent when they'd landed on top of Pegasus (the exact spot he was sitting now) – something vaguely like bubble gum and perfume. 

How it had looked, the night sky frozen in the same eternal position, so that they could've counted the stars if they'd wanted to. 

The silence of the moment before, filled only with the occasional soft whisper, because the night belonged to them.

And last of all, the way she'd tasted on his lips and in his mouth, sweeter than any sort of candy he'd ever had before. 

That was definitely one of the best firsts he'd ever had.

From that day on, Jonathan and Dess were an unofficial couple. Everyone could tell, but they never said a word.

That other normal teenager first, sneaking out, had come fairly soon after the first kiss. Jonathan had gotten grounded – his math grade had dropped since all the "tutoring" he did with Dess ended the same way. He didn't think the grade was a big deal, but he did care about not seeing Dess.

Technically, he wasn't even sure if you could call it sneaking out. His dad couldn't even move during the blue time, much less grab his retreating son by the ankle and stop him. But either way, Jonathan was out of his house against his dad's wishes, and every jump felt slightly more exhilarating that midnight because of it. Kissing Dess had never tasted so good.

The most painful first was probably that day he got a letter in the mail that Mom had died in a car accident. First death. Dad had acted all stiff and awkward, but Jonathan couldn't match his father's nonchalant attitude. He went straight to Dess and poured his heart out, quite literally. She just sat there and listened to everything he said, kissing him on the cheek now and again. 

She was there at the funeral too, clad in a customary black dress and letting him lean on her as they watched Mom sink down, down, down below the dirt. They went back at midnight sometimes, just so Jonathan could pay his respects, say hi… that sort of thing.

On a happier note, he had his first unofficial relationship anniversary. One month, two months, three… they were together a long time. Longer than he could have hoped. His first relationship was his longest, and his best. Sometimes he'd wondered what Dess thought when she saw him with Jessica. Not that it mattered now, since he was going. And maybe never coming back.

What it all came down to was first love. Dess was the only person he'd ever really been in love with, and that was something he had never told Jessica. He wasn't sure what it was about Dess that made him feel the way he did. All he knew was that now, even after their relationship was over… he still wanted her. He still remembered the way she tasted and the way she smelled, even though he knew he shouldn't. And he wondered if she still felt the same way.

He swung his legs over the side of Pegasus and slid off, backing down across the roof. Walking, running, jumping… wait, wait… flying. 

From the window in her room, Dess watched and wished. In another time, in another world, where things didn't have to be different… maybe they could still be.

Maybe. 

But firsts aren't always lasts.


End file.
